Cynthia Hill grew up in Peterborough, attending Queen Elizabeth Public School and Adam Scott CVI. Active in community theatre from a young age, she did shows with both the Peterborough Theatre Guild and St. James Players before attending York University to study Theatre and English.
After a short detour to New Jersey, she now lives in Oshawa with her husband, Matthew, and four kids, Emma, Charlotte, Andrew, and Joshua.
Cynthia was the winner of the Scugog Council for the Arts Literary Contest – Prose Division – in 2010, and released her first book, Idol Hands, in 2011.
An excerpt from What Lies Behind, a novel by Cynthia Hill (published August 2012)
At that moment, an orderly brought in her lunch tray. “Oh, hello,” he said. “I didn’t know Lily had a visitor.” Lisa smiled at his use of her grandmother’s nickname. She had rarely heard her stuffy grandmother called anything but Lillian.
“I’m her granddaughter, Lisa,” she said by way of introduction. “I can go, if I’m in the way…” She secretly hoped he would want her to leave.
“No, no, of course not. She’ll likely eat better when she has some company,” he told her. “She hasn’t had much of an appetite lately.”
Lisa bit her lower lip. She hadn’t intended to stay much longer, and she didn’t know anything about getting her grandmother to eat. She didn’t want to admit to this man that she knew nothing about her grandmother’s care, though. She nodded and brought her chair closer.
Whether she wanted him to know or not, though, he seemed to, and he started to help her find the food on her plate. “Here you go Lily,” he said gently. “Some nice fresh green beans today. I picked them especially for you.”
Lillian’s eyes darted towards him as he spoke. “Walter?” she asked, her voice a mere croak.
The word startled Lisa. The very fact her grandmother had spoken at all was shocking, but she thought the orderly was her husband? Her husband who had been dead for 26 years?
“No, no Lily,” the orderly said. “Not Walter. But Walter will be here soon, he told me, and he said to tell you that it was VERY important to him that you try and eat your lunch, okay?”
Her grandmother nodded, and opened her mouth for a forkful of food. She chewed slowly, as if every bite took concentration. He helped her take a few bites, and then turned to hand the fork to Lisa. “Your granddaughter here is going to help you finish your lunch now, all right?” he asked. There was no response. The orderly smiled at them, and then went on his way.
“Wait!” she called after him. “How long does it usually take her to eat?” she asked.
He shrugged. “That depends on how much she’s willing to eat. I suspect that since Walter wants her to, she may eat more today than usual. That’s good.”
Lisa put the fork up to her grandmother’s lips. Good for whom? she thought, but she waited there, forkful after forkful, while her grandmother ate. She couldn’t help but think about that one word: “Walter.” She hadn’t heard her grandmother’s voice in over two years. She had assumed that there were no thoughts at all behind those cloudy eyes. Now she suspected that there must be a glimmer of the person that she once was, in there.
What goes on in there? she wondered. Is there really nothing anymore? Is it all gone? Or is it all there, just buried so deep that no one can find it? If Walter were here, would you know him? Are you really just a shell that used to be Lillian Scott Walker Sullivan? Or is Lily in there?
Her grandmother closed her mouth tightly against the fork. “Don’t you want any more?” Lisa asked. No response, the lips pursed. Lisa picked up another forkful of food, curious. “Walter really wanted you to finish your lunch, Lily,” she said, wondering if there would be any response. The lips softened, but didn’t open. The eyes were staring through her at the wall behind. “Lily?” she asked again. No response.
Lisa put the fork down on the plate and sighed. “Don’t worry,” she said gently. “Walter will be here soon.”
Was there a flash of recognition? She could’ve sworn there was a twinkle, albeit a brief one, in her grandmother’s eye. Now, though, there was nothing. “What do you think about?” she asked out loud. I think there’s more in there than you’re telling us. I kind of think you hear us, you’re just ignoring us. Somehow that wouldn’t surprise me.”
There! she thought. I’m sure it was there, but now it’s gone again. What’s really going on in there?
But Lillian was as silent as ever.
